I wrote this song during some summer of high school--possibly the one just preceding high school. I think I wrote it in the summer of 2003 or 2004.
The music came first and then the lyrics, I believe.
I've played a lot of different versions of this song, and this was the most succinct version I ever played. We had to get it down to 3 minutes or less for a "cabaret" performance, which was, for all sorts of reasons, an unusual experience.
lyrics
You know I don’t even know what you call a lie anymore
Is it what you don’t believe or what you choose to ignore?
I don’t understand your gestures, and I don’t get your signs.
I don’t know what you mean, and I can’t read between the lines.
I’m trying to fix something that’s been breaking my heart.
I’m finding answers to my questions, but they’re falling apart.
I want you to tell me everything that you know is true.
And, I want you to know I have a heart the way you do.
Why don’t you tell me straight, so I don’t have to guess?
I feel so confused when you leave my mind in a mess.
So, come on now, just tell me what you mean
By the things that you’ve told me and the things that I’ve seen.
I’m trying to fix something that’s been breaking my heart.
I’m finding answers to my questions, but they’re falling apart.
I want you to tell me everything that you know is true.
And, I want you to know I have a heart the way you do.
I know that, sometimes, something’s not the way it seems.
But, when I’m not sure, I’d rather believe my dreams.
I know the truth can hurt. It can make you cry.
But, lies, but never truth, can make the innocent die.
I’m trying to fix something that’s been breaking my heart.
I’m finding answers to my questions, but they’re falling apart.
I want you to tell me everything that you know is true.
And, I want you to know I have a heart the way you do.
credits
from Bootlegs I: Songs for Toddlers on the Human Condition,
released November 15, 2011
Performed by various members of R2P2 in October or November of 2004: Brian Horowitz on violin, Matthew Linakis on saxophone, Noam Londy on guitar, and me on keyboard and vocals.
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